...In my case, forever.

Yesterday, I closed the highschool chapter of my life. It was emotionally draining in the extreme. Aditionally, all the tiredness that has been building up throughout the year hit home...My inner clock doesn't let me sleep in, but when I woke up at 7 this morning, I was so exhausted I could barely move.

The deans songs were things of great beauty. Props to Noodle.

I feel I should have something heartbreakingly beautiful and moving to say, something that sums up my glorious five years at the greatest school in the greater Wellington area, something philosophical and deep...But all I really have to say id thank you, and goodbye.

I barely cried yesterday...Stupid tear ducts.

Just go read My year 13 overview. It'll be faster.

Apparently, at our first Prizegiving an 2005, Julia's dad (Nicky) and mine (Nick)sat next to each other. I say sat, but Nick had just had a hernia operation, and stood all three hours. If thats not parental dedication, Nothing is.

They introduced themselves, and asked after their respective daughters successes. Nicky asked "How do you think they'll do?" Nick replied that between the two of them, "They'll probably sweep the board."

On Thursday night, 2009, 16 awards, certificates and scholarships later, and after one girl had recieved Dux, and they other had become the first to win three consecutive English prizes, Nicky and Nick found themselves in a similar situation.

Nicky said "They swept the board." Nick agreed.

And it was good.

well, yeah.

I just opened up a random page of The Listener and what was I met with?

"Why it is beneficial to all to use our resources to increase our wealth".

Gah. Hate. Hate. HATE.

(THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT THE SAME LISTENER SUBJECTED MY GRANDPAS OPINIONS TO ON-PRINT DISSECTION. NOTHING AT ALL.)





Sid was in it once, though. that was Bizarre, and lulzworthy.

My parents, for putting up with me, and seeing fit to provide me with a truly lovely house, which I already adore.

Said House, for being lovely and cosy and warm and adorable.

Patty, for her continued awesomeness and tolerance with the new house.

Ellie, Georgia and Ellen for making me welcome on the Brooklyn school bus.

Mrs Crayford. Best english/art history teacher ever

Every half price sale that has ever existed.

To everyone who has taken some stuff off my hands. in an attempt to lighten my load.

To whoever wrote the exams for English and Art History.

Scrump, for being the Butt-Monkey of the Jolliffe House.

and the producers of Te Taua Moana, for giving us a chance to see all the stuff Sean would never tell us about Basic.

.......you prince among ages, you.

I shall miss you, and shall try to write.

All my love,

Elsie.

Telethon.

ohgodhelpus.

I've just forgotten it.








BAWWWWWWWWW.

(THREE Posts in one day? Scandalous!)

District 9, my Friends.

Lily, you know how I told you that Adrians explanation of his actions at the end of Watchmen was the biggest WAITWHUT moment ever?

I was wrong.

I was so very wrong.

Two posts in one day? Gadzooks!

Alright.

I just watched the first episode of Generation Kill.

I rather enjoy it, despite the fact I find it a little difficult to tell everyone apart, and, had I not watched Blade:Trinity last night, the most extensive use of the word "fuck" on TV in my life thus far.

It is good. My inner thirteen year old boy is however, displeased with the character driven Drama, and demands more explosions.



On an entirely unrelated note-How, in my almost Four years of Neil Gaiman obsession, did I not watch/read Neverwhere? How?

Not since Gurren Lagann has any show ever made me want to dress like a hobo so much. Its such a shame I am not a six foot tall black guy with dreadlocks who looks good in leather. Or I would already be making the Marquis de Carabas' clothes.

Hey, look, Virals Back! Oh, nostalgia. How you gnaw at my heart. Like some kind of internal Parasite.....similes like that are the reasom I have such I bright future in romantic poetry.

I have finished half of my classics homework, plotted out two essays and finished chapter 6 of the Aeneid. And its only Sunday. Since this is a clear defiance of my normal procrastination, I suspect something is dreadfully wrong with me. Perhaps I am weighed by guilt that I was a slacker of the highest order this term, and the only good thing I managed to churn out was this one delightful essay about Casablanca that totally did NOT imply that there was a love triangle between Rick, Strauser and Renault.

Apparently, to get an excellence, you just need to throw in the words "hypothetical", "allegory", "subtle", "personification", "Inherent", "insinuating" and "archetype". Huh.

Well, everyone else is at MUN.... had to find something to occupy myself with besides watching Hot Fuzz over and over.

Now, I go to watch generation Kill. Romana desperately hopes that I will like it. Odds are, I will, as, unlike someone I could mention, I can appreciate people blowing things up. Not as much as Micheal"I-wish-I-could-make-love-to-an-explosion"Bay, but still.

Hahahahahaha. I am reminded of MonkeyIsland.

Guybrush Threepwood:The Government is trying to blow up my house! It's criminal! If anyone's going to blow up my house, it should be me!"

No Brydon, the Village is like a zoo, and the iwi have to stay in their cages so the tourists can gawk at their leisure.

Jesus.

You know, I forgot how much I dislike most of the the central north Island(At least Taupo will eventually solve itself). Or long road trips with people I can't stand. Or practical information gathering for geography. Or Kanye West.

I just spent the tuesday through Thursday nights in so-called Roto-Vegas, investigating tourism, running barefoot over frosty grass, eating unsweetened ricies, sleeping in freezingly cold cabins and the like. It was for the most part, pretty standard boring school organised trip, until the Agrodome show (and subsequent cow milking), and the Skyline visit, when somehow, our teachers sold their souls and possibly their shoes to get us free luge rides and a cut price gourmet buffet dinner.

It almost made up for the stunningly dull events of Wednesday. No, I don't care about Rotoruas total dependance upon Tourism and Tourism Rotoruas ever expanding plans for their great city.

Oh, and you know the quakehouse in Te papa? Screw the quakehouse. Rotorua museums shaking seat museum PWNS the quakehouse. And has Temuera Morrison AND Brett from Flight of the Concords.

We found out about MJ on the road home, from a frantic Spanish txt to Vaite. Every Radio station from Rotorua to Wellington was playing Thriller.
I am thoroughly sick of it now.

Now, I must return to the heater, to try and remember what its like to be warm.

Cheerio.

Because I'm sick. Awesome stuff always happens when Elsie is Sick.

My throat wants to kill me.....I have decided. I have swine flu. Soon I shall sprout a curly tail and pig ears then mutate and fly awayyyyyyyy.

Thats totally what happens when you get swine flu.

Its the Aporkalypse.

Yaaaay, I booked my tickets to get up to Auckland for Armageddon. In keeping with tradition, Dad made his usual Armageddon outta here quip, which is no less lame for being said approximately infinity times, and Mum, in a moment of Genius, said:

"It's only Armageddon, it's not the end of the world."

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. ha.

No, really.

I have a laptop now! Typing in bed is fun. And warm.

I'm gonna finish the Allen Cosplay this weekend, which will leave me the rest of the week to work on my internals. Regardless, I'm probably gonna do my Tempest Essay in the line at Armageddon, and whenever I get a free moment. Jeffs says he shall style my wig for me(professional Hairdresser? Hell yeah.).

Me and Dad Saw Watchmen about an hour ago. Oh, god, oh god, oh god. I am torn. It annoys me for simplifying the plot, dragging out some parts unnneccesarily, eliminating some of the best aspects of the Novel....but at the same time, I love those moments of untainted faithfulness, the brilliant casting, the understated yet glorious soundtrack.....Oh, and Rorschach. Rorschach RORSCHACH RORSCHACH RORSCHACH. When have short little raving, bean eating, murdering, rightwing Sociopaths ever been so adorable, and yet so Badassed?

Need sleep. Desperately. Must run legs off in RelayForLife tommorrow. Curse you, prefecture.

First off, a minor fangasm is required. Capslock away.

HOMGGREATESTTWOEPISODESINTHEHISTORYOFEVERGAHBROTPISCANONFORNOWANDFOREVERANDIWANNAGIVEBARNEYABIIIIGHUG.

Okay, Out of system now.

Of course, I'm biased, but these two magnificent episodes were perhaps the most awesome episodes that season, and totally redeemed the mid season slump.

Barney made Grease AND Mortal Kombat references-"Finish Him!", and runs like Jack Sparrow! Lily saved a satanic goat, and somehow turned into the most wonderfully pathetic white rapper ever! Marshall finally got a chance to show off his mad lawyering skills, and totally sucked it up! Robin became a giggly sixteen year old again "Ah my god Simon, you guys totally rocked oat!"! Bless Canadian accents! Ted didn't do much!

Okay. Carrying on.

I suck arse at writing in Valentines cards. When I discovered this, it was too late, and all I could do was add a few half hearted kisses.

Cosplay! I lent Noodles exchange student my Simon shirt, Have to make Lillys shirt, Nikkis cape, Lillys bloomers(for athletics day), Christines cloak and Hat, and Boot tops and a coat for me. So far I've made my waistcoat, lillys golves, my necktie and the majority of Chris' hat. I think I'll finish in time. Think.

I was on Who Dares wins on Sunday. I was in the disbelieving crowd on the corner of Cuba and Manners, watching the guy who kinda looked like Barack Obama plucked $50 from a vat of Baked beans with his teeth. If you listen, You can hear me say "Take your tie off!

People keep telling me this.

I was mistaken for a teacher today. That hasnt happened since I was 14.

Upon the arrival of last years results, Alec, in a shocking display of unoriginality, said the same thing as last year.

Achieved with Excellence! Barely. I didn't try very hard last year. I was kinda in "I got amazing results last year, I know I can achieve in several of these subjects without even trying, who really cares" mode.

ANYWAY!

Seeing Noodle off at the airport was an epicly cheesy experience. Almost as cheesy as Lilys little sisters copy of Singstar Disney. Have we ever mentioned how impossible it is to sing the swahili part of "The Circle of Life"? But you know whats even cheesier?

BATMAN AND ROBIN.

BATMAN AND FREAKING ROBIN.(or, as I kept saying for some reason, "Barney and Robin". WHAT UP?)

It has to be the single worst movie ever. And I say that with some confidence, as I have, to my shame, seen a lot of Kevin Costner Films.

My 2008 House play was better.  It had better lighting(the whole thing looked like a sugar high redition of Priscilla queen of the desert, with it's neony lights and shiny shinyness), better scripting(Lets kick some ICE), less disturbing costumes(the whole movie was filled with shots of the skin tight pleather pants and how it clung to george Clooneys butt.), and overall,a far more sound story.

Which says a lot, when your house play is a ridiculous buddy cop pastiche.

And lets not even mention the BatNipples.
Oh god, i just did.
Why, Satan? Why?

Extrahundredbucksaweek, extrahundredbucksaweek, extrahundredbucksaweek........

Its 2009. The eleventh day thereof. Only 354 days left. Unless it's a leapyear. It'll be over in a blink and then you'll all go off todifferent unis and we'll never see each other again and then years from now we'll all tell our various offspring how we wish we had kept in touch.

Stuff!

I got a scanner for christmas!
My phone fell into a toilet at an architecture firm!
I saw Australia! It was pretty, but the plot was thin! Like Nicole Kidman!
I have re-aquainted myself with the use of firearms!
I was not allowed to drink alot on New Years!
Which sucked, because the alcohol was really good!
Sean finally went back to the Navy!
But Alec Moved back in!
I am watching excessive amounts of Sitcoms!
I have developed an addiction to instant puddings!
And I still Love the Toast King!

Anyway. 2009 lies ahead, sure to be a year of great promise and excitement and total abuse of prefect powers. Hence, for the purpose of unnerving those in the years below us, and entertaining myself, I have assigned myself a series of challenges which may or may not grow, which I must complete before december this year, or else I must buy 10 people gelato. If you wish to be one of these ten people, then notify immediately.

Challenge one: In front of entire school at Assembly, must say "I have given a name to my pain" With a  completely straight face and voice. The quote must be in some context, and not just randomly inserted. Extra points if I can do the Batusi accompanying it.

Challenge Two- Defile at least 20 twilight posters and stick them up all over school. Then sit back and relax.

Challenge three- Wear full cosplay to school, no matter what the character, the wig or the weapon, the impracticality or the indecency, all day.

Challenge four: Somehow convince the School council to do another Movie Character Mufti, and dress as Ted. Or Bill. Or both....

Challenge Five: Feed the teachers(or an unsuspecting shared lunch) the Noxious cupcakes me and Romana designed back in yr 8.
Again, sit back and watch results.

Challenge six: Turn everything around.

Challenge seven: Get a comic into the School magazine. May have to beg and plead but let's be honest, my dignity is a pale and ghostly shred of a thing, and I dearly desire the immortality it will provide. In my head.

Potential Challenge:Piggyback Lillian everywhere. Like, all day.
Teach Hare Hare Yukai or Caramelldansen(should take about two seconds.) in Common.

Any other suggestions? It's my last year, and I intend to be as big a pain as I can be.

And speaking of Lillian, she is returning tommorrow, methinks.
Romana is right. We are all alarmingly codependent on each other, and I miss her terribly. And jessie too, but not as much, because shes, you know. In England.

Too long, didnt read....

But I'm not. Now ask me if I care.

Bio's over, so's English. In remarkable contrast to my state of extreme stress and pessimism last year, I have become remarkably zen about the whole exams thing.

Maybe because I've already passed NCEA with a merit endorsement, and am only a handful of Credits away from an excellence. Credits I know I can get.

Maybe the fact that I cleaned up in Prizegiving(which was worth the utter isolation from everyone I know for the sake of Kristins epic speechof epic awesome-whoever is head girl next year has a hell of a act to follow) has given me false confidence about my academic ability.

Maybe I've just stopped being concerned. Intelligence is not always measured in assessment scores.

Gah.

..........

Playing sardines in Te Papa is hilarious. And although it would be really, really obvious, I  really want to try  hiding in the whales heart. Just to see how many can fit in there. Possibly on a day we wouldnt squash the little kids.

........

Heroesisbackonandihavebeenforcedintoastateofultimatedreadandexhilerationanohmygodzacharyquintolooksawesomeinasuit.

We predicted that there would be turtles in Heroes months beforehand! We should be writing it.

Epic text war with Romana throughout the show, exchanging magical crack theories and slash.

Magical turtle for the win.

.........

I AM reserving my tickets for The Who tonight. I dont care about where I am, or about the cost, or if I have to go alone....I just want to be there.... I  will never forgive myself if I miss the chance to see my favourite band ever in concert.

 Would you?
....

Job teaching little kiddies  how to draw begins on the First. Here's hoping I dont screw them up for life.

Today, I was admonished for using the word admonish.





admonish.
admonisssssssssshhhhhhhhh.
Aaaadmonish.

 Apparently, I do a scarily good Sid Vicious impersonation.


I should, I've been listening to him since I was three.


And I got library prefect. Yayz.


"It's Japanese for 'empty orchestra'. Isn't that just hauntingly beautiful?"

Never before revealed.

It all began in the term 3 holidays of 2007, after the release of Littlekuribohs "Mariks Evil Council of Doom". Elsie was somewhat obsessed, particularly with Zombie Boys line "Brains." Subtitled as "I like Turtles.

At that weeks Stalin Party, Upon multiple rewatchings of Heroes with Lilly, Noodle and Banana, Elsie drew inevitable comparisons with Zombie boy and Sylar, due to their similar affinity for Brains, and concluded that Sylars affection for brains was attributed to his love for turtles....or something like that. Kinda fuzzy on the specifics.

After a hasty doodle of Sylar quoting Zombie boy(since lost), along with the inexplicable subtitle,  Sylars irrevocable bond with turtles of all kinds was formed.

The portmanteau of Syturtle was born soon after, and the rest, they say, is history.

Or art, actually, because I'm pretty sure thats where they first drew the clock-adorned reptile.

Clearly, one of us possesses the latent power to implant ideas into the minds of TV show writers over large distances, for one very magnificent turtle has now taken to the spotlight in Heroes.

As Romans banana so eloquently puts it, "We so called this shit."

Indeed.